Denise Ajeto Ed.D.
Denise Ajeto recently earned her doctorate in Educational Leadership from Seattle University. Her dissertation, "From wounded child to empathic mother: a heuristic inquiry into the experience of parenting sexual minority children", was an examination into the meaning of her experience coming to accept her children's sexual and gender identities. Her research into empathic parenting explored the relationship between parental empathy and secure attachment and the role these concepts play in healthy identity development in children, particularly lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) children.
Dr. Ajeto also holds a Master of Arts degree in Existential Phenomenological Psychology from Seattle University and a Bachelor of Arts degree with an emphasis in Psychology from City University. Dr. Ajeto currently works as a Diversity manager for the Boeing Company, where she has been employed since 1985. She is regarded as an advocate for transgender and LGBT employees at Boeing and has been invited to present her story at various Boeing sites across the country. She was honored with a 2003 Boeing Diversity Change Agent award. She has also presented at a number of conferences, including Out & Equal, the Society of Intercultural Educators, Trainers, and Researchers (SIETAR), and the National Association of Multicultural Educators (NAME). She has also been invited to speak at various other community organizations.
Dr. Ajeto resides in Arlington, WA with her husband, Ren. They are the proud parents and stepparents of five grown children and five grandchildren.
Denise presents:
A Soul Has No Gender: A Mother's Journey
A Soul Has No Gender: A Mother's Journey is the story of one woman's inquiry into her experience as a mother of fraternal twins who are both sexual minorities. One twin is lesbian and the other is female-to-male transgender. The presenter shares the process she went through in coming to accept their sexual and gender identities and how this process has transformed how she views the meaning of gender and sexuality.
Recently earning her doctorate in Educational Leadership program from Seattle University, Dr. Ajeto's research took the form of a heuristic inquiry into her experience of becoming a more empathic parent to her children as her understanding and acceptance of them increased. She also examined the impact this empathic perspective has had on her relationships with her now adult children and family, with others, and with herself.
Dr. Ajeto's research was focused in two primary areas:
1. Were her children normal? Further, what was normal and who decides? What are the societal norms concerning gender, gender expression, and sexuality and where did these norms originate? What are sexual identity, gender identity, and sexuality and how do these aspects of identity affect happiness?
2. How was she able to become an empathic parent, particularly given that she didn't start out as one? Further, what is empathic parenting? How does empathy impact the way children develop and what happens to their development if they don't get it?
These questions are important ones for all parents, but have particular relevance for parents who are faced with the challenge of how to respond when their lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or questioning child (LGBTQ) comes out to them because it is estimated that almost half of parents reject their LGBTQ children. This is an issue right here in our own community given that a study by Ryan & Futterman (1998) found that 40% of the youth living on the streets of Seattle identified as LGBTQ.
It is Dr. Ajeto's hope that sharing her experience in coming to accept her children's sexual and gender identities will help generate awareness about the significant challenges these young people face and will serve to challenge other parents, educators, agencies and service providers a (and employers who fund these agencies) who come in contact with these youth to respond more empathically.